ATTENTION: For Anyone Who’s Sick of Feeling Bloated, Backed Up, or Betrayed by Their Gut
Are You Literally Full of💩?
Say goodbye to bathroom sprints — with a plan for smooth,
brag-worthy #2's.
Turn your tragic toilet tales into victory laps — a 7-Day Plan
to help your gut behave like a champ.
ATTENTION: For Anyone Who’s Sick of Feeling Bloated, Backed Up, or Betrayed by Their Gut
Are You Literally Full of 💩?
Say goodbye to bathroom sprints — with a plan for smooth,
brag-worthy #2's.
Turn your tragic toilet tales into victory laps — a 7-Day Plan to help your gut behave like a champ.
CLICK BELOW TO WATCH FIRST!
🔒 100% Secure 256-Bit Security Encryption
There are two types of people reading this page:
Those who keep hoping their gut will magically “figure it out” (spoiler: it won’t), and those who realize NOW is the time to finally take their bathroom business seriously.
I bet you already know which type actually gets to leave the house without mapping every public restroom in a 5-mile radius…
If you’re like most “I swear I eat healthy!” humans, you’re probably sick and tired of:
Staring at your belly in the mirror, wondering if you’re bloated or just smuggling a sourdough starter.
Playing digestive roulette every time you eat a salad, a smoothie, or—let’s be honest—anything with flavor.
Living in fear of the “will I poop today?” lottery (and losing, repeatedly).
Watching other people eat cheese, bread, and joy… while you’re over here Googling “is it normal to not poop for three days?”
Feeling like your gut is running the show (and it’s a terrible show—zero stars, would not recommend).
And the worst part?
Every day you wait, your gut gets bolder, your pants get tighter, and your confidence takes another hit—while everyone else is out there living their best, bloat-free lives.
Well… that struggle ends RIGHT NOW.
JOIN NOW FOR $27
YOU’RE SAVING $366+ TODAY
Join the Perfect Poop Protocol
for ONLY $27
Bonuses Will Be Delivered Instantly.
Get Full Access Right Away.
🔒100% Secure 256-Bit Security Encryption
YOU’RE SAVING $481 TODAY
Get PRE-LAUNCH Pricing
for ONLY $7
🔒100% Secure 256-Bit Security Encryption
CLICK BELOW TO WATCH FIRST!
🔒 100% Secure 256-Bit Security Encryption
There are two types of people reading this page:
Those who keep hoping their gut will magically “figure it out” (spoiler: it won’t), and those who realize NOW is the time to finally take their bathroom business seriously.
I bet you already know which type actually gets to leave the house without mapping every public restroom in a 5-mile radius…
If you’re like most “I swear I eat healthy!” humans, you’re probably sick and tired of:
Staring at your belly in the mirror, wondering if you’re bloated or just smuggling a sourdough starter.
Playing digestive roulette every time you eat a salad, a smoothie, or—let’s be honest—anything with flavor.
Living in fear of the “will I poop today?” lottery (and losing, repeatedly).
Watching other people eat cheese, bread, and joy… while you’re over here Googling “is it normal to not poop for three days?”
Feeling like your gut is running the show (and it’s a terrible show—zero stars, would not recommend).
And the worst part?
Every day you wait, your gut gets bolder, your pants get tighter, and your confidence takes another hit—while everyone else is out there living their best, bloat-free lives.
Well… that struggle ends RIGHT NOW.
JOIN NOW FOR $27
YOU’RE SAVING $420+ TODAY
Get PRE-LAUNCH Pricing
for ONLY $7
Bonuses Will Be Delivered Instantly.
Get Full Access Right Away.
🔒100% Secure 256-Bit Security Encryption
YOU’RE SAVING $366+ TODAY
Join the Perfect Poop Protocol for ONLY $27
Bonuses Will Be Delivered Instantly.
Get Full Access Right Away.
🔒100% Secure 256-Bit Security Encryption
Your Digestive System Called... It Wants a Divorce 💔
Let's Get Real About Your Current "Relationship Status" With Your Gut:
🤰 You look pregnant by lunch (and people keep asking when you're due)
🚽 Your toilet thinks you've ghosted it (it's been 4 days, Karen!)
💨 You're basically a human whoopee cushion (your coworkers have started wearing gas masks)
🍕 You're afraid of food (that innocent salad betrayed you AGAIN)
😱 You've Googled "Am I dying?" more than "cute puppy videos" (and that's saying something)
📱 Your search history is 90% poop-related (thank God for incognito mode)
👖 Your pants have trust issues (they never know if they'll make it through the day)
But Wait... It Gets Worse 🥴
If you don't fix this digestive disaster:
You'll become a hermit because leaving the house is basically Russian roulette with your bowels
Your friends will stop inviting you places (nobody wants to be trapped in a car with a human gas factory)
You'll develop "bathroom radar" - knowing the location of every toilet within a 5-mile radius
Your Google search suggestions will haunt you forever ("Why do I look 6 months pregnant after eating a cracker?")
You'll start naming your food babies (Meet Burrito Jr. and Pasta Pete!)
Your Digestive System Called... It Wants a Divorce 💔
Let's Get Real About Your Current "Relationship Status" With Your Gut:
🤰 You look pregnant by lunch (and people keep asking when you're due)
🚽 Your toilet thinks you've ghosted it (it's been 4 days, Karen!)
💨 You're basically a human whoopee cushion (your coworkers have started wearing gas masks)
🍕 You're afraid of food (that innocent salad betrayed you AGAIN)
😱 You've Googled "Am I dying?" more than "cute puppy videos" (and that's saying something)
📱 Your search history is 90% poop-related (thank God for incognito mode)
👖 Your pants have trust issues (they never know if they'll make it through the day)
But Wait... It Gets Worse 🥴
If you don't fix this digestive disaster:
You'll become a hermit because leaving the house is basically Russian roulette with your bowels
Your friends will stop inviting you places (nobody wants to be trapped in a car with a human gas factory)
You'll develop "bathroom radar" - knowing the location of every toilet within a 5-mile radius
Your Google search suggestions will haunt you forever ("Why do I look 6 months pregnant after eating a cracker?")
You'll start naming your food babies (Meet Burrito Jr. and Pasta Pete!)
The Truth Behind the Laughs
Poor digestion doesn’t just
make life inconvenient.
Over time, it can impact
your hormones, immunity,
and even your mood.
Ignoring it now just means a
bigger problem later.
The Truth Behind the Laughs
Poor digestion doesn’t just make life inconvenient.
Over time, it can impact your hormones, immunity, and even your mood.
Ignoring it now just means a bigger problem later.
🎉 Welcome to
Your New Life:
Population = You + Your Happy Gut
Picture This Magical Day:
6 AM: You wake up naturally (no alarm needed because you're not exhausted from digestive warfare)
6:15 AM: You have your morning constitutional - smooth, satisfying, and dare I say... artistic 💩✨
7 AM: You put on jeans WITHOUT doing the "suck-it-in" dance or unbuttoning by noon
8 AM: You eat breakfast without playing "Will This Betray Me Later?" roulette
12 PM: Lunch happens. Your stomach says "Thank you" instead of “Why did you do this to me?”
3 PM: No afternoon bloat baby! Your coworkers stop asking if you're expecting
6 PM: Dinner is enjoyable, not a hostage negotiation with your digestive system
9 PM: You go to bed feeling light, not like you swallowed a bowling ball
Included With Your Order
The 7-Day Perfect Poop Protocol
PERFECT POOP CLUB
COMMUNITY
(Priceless)
Private Facebook group for support + motivation
Connect with others on the same gut-health journey
Stay accountable through the 7-Day Protocol and beyond
GUT-LOVING RECIPES
BUNDLE
($47 Bonus Value)
Breakfasts, lunches, dinners + snacks
Built for the reset — no fluff, no guesswork
Simple, nourishing, and bloat-friendly
GUT VIBES AUDIO BUNDLE
($17 Bonus Value)
Digestive Dancefloor Playlist for poop walks with groove
Sound Therapy Tracks to calm your gut and nervous system
7-DAY GUT TRACKER
($17 Bonus Value)
Notice what’s working & what’s not
Helps you build trust in your gut
Printable and easy to use
You'll wonder why you waited so
long to fix the most basic
thing your body does.
And you can start today. Seriously.
The whole thing takes
7 days.
🎉Welcome to Your New Life:
Population = You + Your Happy Gut
Picture This Magical Day:
6 AM: You wake up naturally (no alarm needed because you're not exhausted from digestive warfare)
6:15 AM: You have your morning constitutional - smooth, satisfying, and dare I say... artistic 💩✨
7 AM: You put on jeans WITHOUT doing the "suck-it-in" dance or unbuttoning by noon
8 AM: You eat breakfast without playing "Will This Betray Me Later?" roulette
12 PM: Lunch happens. Your stomach says "Thank you" instead of “Why did you do this to me?”
3 PM: No afternoon bloat baby! Your coworkers stop asking if you're expecting
6 PM: Dinner is enjoyable, not a hostage negotiation with your digestive system
9 PM: You go to bed feeling light, not like you swallowed a bowling ball
Included With Your Order
The 7-Day Perfect Poop Protocol
PERFECT POOP CLUB COMMUNITY
(Priceless)
Private Facebook group for support + motivation
Connect with others on the same gut-health journey
Stay accountable through the 7-Day Protocol and beyond
GUT-LOVING RECIPES BUNDLE
($47 Bonus Value)
Breakfasts, lunches, dinners + snacks
Built for the reset — no fluff, no guesswork
Simple, nourishing, and bloat-friendly
GUT VIBES AUDIO BUNDLE
($17 Bonus Value)
Digestive Dancefloor Playlist for poop walks with groove
Sound Therapy Tracks to calm your gut and nervous system
7-DAY GUT TRACKER
($17 Bonus Value)
Notice what’s working — and what’s not
Helps you build trust in your gut
Printable and easy to use
You'll wonder why you waited so long to fix the most basic
thing your body does.
And you can start today. Seriously.
The whole thing takes 7 days.
🔍The Bigger Picture of Gut Health
Sounds funny, but the reality is—
when your digestion works,
everything changes.
More energy. Less anxiety.
Better sleep. Gut health affects every system in your body, not just your bathroom habits.
✨ The Bigger Picture of Gut Health
Sounds funny, but the reality is—when your digestion works,
everything changes. More energy. Less anxiety. Better sleep.
Gut health affects every system in your body, not just your bathroom habits.
THE OLD WAY THE OLD WAY THE OLD WAY THE OLD WAY
THE OLD WAY (Why Most People Are Stuck
in the Bathroom)
If you're like most people dealing with digestive issues, you've probably tried all the things — and none of them stick (unlike that food baby that's been hanging around since Tuesday).
The old way is confusing, exhausting, and honestly… like a rollercoaster straight into the bathroom —
no seatbelt, no warning, just pure digestive mayhem.
This is what’s really going on behind the scenes:
Bloating after every meal (even the "healthy" ones that lied to you)
Bathroom roulette — will it be now? Later? Or will you be stuck contemplating life choices?
Cutting foods randomly and still feeling like a deflated balloon (thanks, kale!)
Wasting money on fiber supplements that just collect dust (and regrets)
Googling "why am I so gassy" more times than you've Googled your ex (we've all been there)
THE NEW WAY THE NEW WAY THE NEW WAY THE NEW WAY
THE OLD WAY ------- THE OLD WAY
THE OLD WAY (Why Most People Are Stuck in the Bathroom)
If you're like most people dealing with digestive issues, you've probably tried all the things — and none of them stick (unlike that food baby that's been hanging around since Tuesday).
The old way is confusing, exhausting, and honestly… like a rollercoaster straight into the bathroom — no seatbelt, no warning, just pure digestive mayhem.
This is what’s really going on behind the scenes:
Bloating after every meal (even the "healthy" ones that lied to you)
Bathroom roulette — will it be now? Later? Or will you be stuck contemplating life choices?
Cutting foods randomly and still feeling like a deflated balloon (thanks, kale!)
Wasting money on fiber supplements that just collect dust (and regrets)
Googling "why am I so gassy" more times than you've Googled your ex (we've all been there)
💡 Why This Reset Really Matters
This isn’t just about going #2.
Your gut is central to your metabolism, nutrient absorption, and mental clarity.
A reset like this gives your whole body a chance to heal.
THE NEW WAY ------- THE NEW WAY
THE NEW WAY (Fast-Track to Real Results)
Now imagine following a gut-friendly plan that actually makes sense — one that works with your body, not against it. No more confusion, no more extremes. Just clarity, relief, and results you can feel (and yes, see in the toilet).
A simple, step-by-step protocol designed to calm your gut and reduce bloat
Guidance on what to eat — and what to ditch — without second-guessing (goodbye, kale!)
Daily support to help your digestion stay smooth, regular, and drama-free (because your gut deserves a break!)
Real food, no starvation, no sketchy powders or supplements required (just delicious meals that won’t betray you)
A short 7-day reset you can actually stick to (and feel good doing it!)
This is what the Perfect Poop Protocol is all about — giving your gut a fresh start without the overwhelm, restriction, or mystery. It's the reset your body's been begging for… and it's easier than you think.
💡 Why This Reset Really Matters
This isn’t just about going #2.
Your gut is central to your metabolism, nutrient absorption, and mental clarity.
A reset like this gives your whole body a chance to heal.
THE NEW WAY (Fast-Track to Real Results)
Now imagine following a gut-friendly plan that actually makes sense — one that works with your body, not against it. No more confusion, no more extremes. Just clarity, relief, and results you can feel (and yes, see in the toilet).
A simple, step-by-step protocol designed to calm your gut and reduce bloat
Guidance on what to eat — and what to ditch — without second-guessing (goodbye, kale!)
Daily support to help your digestion stay smooth, regular, and drama-free (because your gut deserves a break!)
Real food, no starvation, no sketchy powders or supplements required (just delicious meals that won’t betray you)
A short 7-day reset you can actually stick to (and feel good doing it!)
This is what the Perfect Poop Protocol is all about — giving your gut a fresh start without the overwhelm, restriction, or mystery. It's the reset your body's been begging for… and it's easier than you think.
BREAKING: Local Woman Discovers Gut Actually Has an "ON" Switch 📰
Scientists are BAFFLED by this simple discovery
Your Paragraph text goes Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisi
Right now, we're living in the GOLDEN AGE OF POOP SCIENCE
(yes, that's a real thing, and yes, I just made you an expert).
While everyone else is still:
Chugging fiber like it's going out of style (spoiler: it's making things worse)
Eating kale until they turn green (literally)
Praying to the porcelain gods (they're not listening)
YOU get to skip the line and go straight to Poop Paradise 🏝️
BREAKING: Local Woman Discovers Gut Actually Has an "ON" Switch 📰
Scientists are BAFFLED by this simple discovery
Right now, we're living in the GOLDEN AGE OF POOP SCIENCE
(yes, that's a real thing, and yes, I just made you an expert).
While everyone else is still:
Chugging fiber like it's going out of style (spoiler: it's making things worse)
Eating kale until they turn green (literally)
Praying to the porcelain gods (they're not listening)
YOU get to skip the line
and go straight to
Poop Paradise 🏝️
From Olympic Sprinter
to Bathroom Sprinter:
My Ridiculous Journey 🏃♀️💨
Hey gorgeous! I'm Liana - your soon-to-be Gut Whisperer and reformed Bathroom Sprinter.
I’ve been singing and dancing my whole life — and spent 11 years performing on cruise ships, living in sequins and spotlight. Offstage, I was just as fierce: lifting weights, studying yoga, mastering brain health, and coaching people through mindset shifts like their life depended on it (because sometimes, it does).
I’m a Certified Nutritionist now, with a serious soft spot for the nervous system and a not-so-glamorous history of gut drama.
We’re talkin’ bloat, discomfort, and Olympic-level sprints to the bathroom. (Bathroom Sprinter, at your service.)
Now? I use everything I’ve lived, learned, and healed through to help others get their gut — and their life — back.
THE IRONIC PLOT TWIST:
At 14, I sprinted to the Junior Olympics 🏃♀️🏅
At 24, I was sprinting to every bathroom around the world 🚽💨
I went from racing for gold medals to racing for toilet paper
My fastest times went from the track to the bathroom door
THE BREAKING POINT:
As a high school runner, I was no stranger to the anxiety of needing to find a bathroom just before the gun went off. Picture this: I’m lined up at the starting line, adrenaline pumping, and suddenly my stomach starts doing the Running Man like it’s trying to beat me to the finish line. In that moment, I had to make a split-second decision: sprint to the nearest bathroom and hope I could make it back in time, or risk it all and run as fast as I could to finish the race without any unfortunate accidents. It was a high-stakes game of timing, where the prize was not just relief, but the dignity of crossing that finish line!
Fast forward to my days performing as a singer on cruise ships. During one unforgettable show in the lounge, right in the middle of our set, disaster struck. That all-too-familiar gut pain. I’d had two chai lattes earlier that day in Stockholm (bad idea), and right in the middle of belting out a big song, my stomach made it very clear:
it was now or never.
It was a cover band gig, so I had to decide fast — keep singing, or run for my life. I gave the other singer a quick “you’re up!” look and bolted off stage. My brain was screaming,
“Am I gonna make it?!”
My eyes were locked on the bathroom door like it was the promised land, while my brain screamed,
“Dear God, not here. Not in heels.”
And as I finally made it, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, one thought hit me harder than any standing ovation ever could:
“This is NOT the performance
I trained for.”
SO I DID WHAT ANY SANE PERSON WOULD DO:
I became obsessed. I studied. I tested. I turned myself into a human guinea pig (a very crampy, bathroom-mapping guinea pig). If I could train my body to sprint to the Junior Olympics, surely I could train my gut to behave like a normal human's.
THE PLOT TWIST:
Turns out, everything I thought I knew about gut health was WRONG. Like, embarrassingly wrong. Like 'thinking that drinking green juice would magically fix everything' wrong. All that 'healthy' advice was making my gut angrier than a cat in a bathtub. 😼🛁
THE HAPPY ENDING:
Now I poop like a champion (the good kind of champion), my gut pain is history, and I only sprint when I choose to. My bathroom visits are planned, not panic-driven. Who knew?
NOW FOR ONLY $27
enim ilique quisquam et deserunt, recusandae. here
YOU’RE SAVING $366+ TODAY
Join the Perfect Poop Protocol
for ONLY $27
Bonuses Will Be Delivered Instantly.
Get Full Access Right Away.
🔒100% Secure 256-Bit Security Encryption
From Olympic Sprinter to
Bathroom Sprinter:
My Ridiculous Journey 🏃♀️💨
Hey gorgeous! I'm Liana - your soon-to-be Gut Whisperer and reformed Bathroom Sprinter.
I’ve been singing and dancing my whole life — and spent 11 years performing on cruise ships, living in sequins and spotlight. Offstage, I was just as fierce: lifting weights, practicing yoga, mastering brain health, and coaching people through mindset shifts like their life depended on it (because sometimes, it does).
I’m a Certified Nutritionist now, with a serious soft spot for the nervous system and a not-so-glamorous history of gut drama.
We’re talkin’ bloat, discomfort, and Olympic-level sprints to the bathroom. (Bathroom Sprinter, at your service.)
Now? I use everything I’ve lived, learned, and healed through to help others get their gut — and their life — back.
THE IRONIC PLOT TWIST:
At 14, I sprinted to the Junior Olympics 🏃♀️🏅
At 24, I was sprinting to every bathroom ar6und the world 🚽💨
I went from racing for gold medals to racing for toilet paper
My fastest times went from the track to the bathroom door
THE BREAKING POINT:
As a high school runner, I was no stranger to the anxiety of needing to find a bathroom just before the gun went off. Picture this: I’m lined up at the starting line, adrenaline pumping, and suddenly my stomach starts doing the Running Man like it’s trying to beat me to the finish line. In that moment, I had to make a split-second decision: sprint to the nearest bathroom and hope I could make it back in time, or risk it all and run as fast as I could to finish the race without any unfortunate accidents. It was a high-stakes game of timing, where the prize was not just relief, but the dignity of crossing that finish line!
Fast forward to my days performing as a singer on cruise ships. During one unforgettable show in the lounge, right in the middle of our set, disaster struck. That all-too-familiar gut pain. I’d had two chai lattes earlier that day in Stockholm (bad idea), and right in the middle of belting out a big song, my stomach made it very clear:
it was now or never.
It was a cover band gig, so I had to decide fast — keep singing, or run for my life. I gave the other singer a quick “you’re up!” look and bolted off stage. My brain was screaming,
“Am I gonna make it?!"
My eyes were locked on the bathroom door like it was the promised land, while my brain screamed,
“Dear God, not here. Not in heels.”
And as I finally made it, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, one thought hit me harder than any standing ovation ever could:
“This is NOT the performance
I trained for.”
SO I DID WHAT ANY SANE PERSON WOULD DO:
I became obsessed. I studied. I tested. I turned myself into a human guinea pig (a very crampy, bathroom-mapping guinea pig). If I could train my body to sprint to the Junior Olympics, surely I could train my gut to behave like a normal human's.
THE PLOT TWIST:
Turns out, everything I thought I knew about gut health was WRONG. Like, embarrassingly wrong. Like 'thinking that drinking green juice would magically fix everything' wrong. All that 'healthy' advice was making my gut angrier than a cat in a bathtub. 😼🛁
THE HAPPY ENDING:
Now I poop like a champion (the good kind of champion), my gut pain is history, and I only sprint when I choose to. My bathroom visits are planned, not panic-driven. Who knew?
NOW FOR ONLY $27
enim ilique quisquam et deserunt, recusandae. here
YOU’RE SAVING $366+ TODAY
Join the Perfect Poop Protocol for ONLY $27
Bonuses Will Be Delivered Instantly.
Get Full Access Right Away.
🔒100% Secure 256-Bit Security Encryption
💔 The Hidden Cost of Gut Struggles
As funny as my bathroom sprints sound now, the truth is
they were exhausting and even scary. When your gut rules your life,
it’s not just uncomfortable—it’s isolating
💔 The Hidden Cost of Gut Struggles
As funny as my bathroom sprints sound now, the truth is
they were exhausting and even scary. When your gut rules your life,
it’s not just uncomfortable—it’s isolating
Gut Truths: Real People. Real Relief.
The early results? Incredible.
People testing the Perfect Poop Protocol have started reporting:
💩Pooping like clockwork
🌅Waking up bloat-free
🔍Finally understanding their food triggers
💃Feeling more confident in their bodies (and their jeans)
No weird pills. No shame. Just real strategies, real relief, and daily progress.
I feel like I can breathe again
I used to be constipated and bloated but since using the Perfect Poop Protocol I can breathe again. No more bloat and I feel lighter.
- Vince P
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Finally can relax on a long car ride
I can actually sit through a long car ride without my stomach acting up. What a relief!
- Linda P
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Going every day instead
of once a week
No more bloating or feeling always uncomfortable. Once you begin to feel better you will say to yourself I should have started sooner.
- Anna P
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Gut Truths: Real People. Real Relief.
The early results? Incredible.
People testing the Perfect Poop Protocol have started reporting:
💩 Pooping like clockwork
🌅 Waking up bloat-free
🔍 Finally understanding their food triggers
💃 Feeling more confident in their bodies (and their jeans)
No weird pills. No shame. Just real strategies, real relief, and daily progress.
I feel like I can breathe again. I used to be constipated and bloated but since using the Perfect Poop Protocol I can breathe again. No more bloat and I feel lighter.
Going every day instead of once a week. No more bloating or feeling always uncomfortable. Once you begin to feel better you will say to yourself 'I should have started sooner'.
Finally can relax on a long car ride. I can actually sit through a long car ride without my stomach acting up. What a relief!
HERE'S EVERYTHING YOU'LL GET
When You Join The Perfect Poop Protocol Today:
💩 THE PERFECT POOP PROTOCOL BLUEPRINT
($97 value - but priceless for your sanity)
✅ 7 days to go from "Poop? What's that?" to "I'm basically a bathroom athlete"
✅ Step-by-step instructions so simple, even your gut can understand them
🌱 THE "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE... RELIEF" MORNING RITUAL
($27 value)
✅ Start your day like a digestive champion
✅ No more morning bloat that makes you llook like you're smuggling a watermelon
🍽️ THE "EAT WITHOUT FEAR" MENU PLAN
($97 value)
✅ Gut-loving recipes for every meal
✅ Designed for fast results — not forever restriction
✅ Works even if you “eat clean” and still feel bloated
🚽 THE EASY EXIT STRATEGY
($47 value)
✅ Unlock the ultimate poop posture with
video guidance.
✅ Get timing hacks for instant relief when
nature calls.
🚨 THE "SOS: SAVE OUR STOMACH" EMERGENCY KIT
($17 value)
✅ For when you need to go from zero to hero... fast
✅ Includes the legendary "Salt Water Flush" (it's like a spa day for your colon)
✅ YOUR DAILY DIGESTIVE GAME PLAN!
($27 value)
✅ Simple steps to keep your gut happy every day.
✅ Transform small wins into epic poop triumphs.
Total Real-World Value: $366+
Yours for just: $27
HERE'S EVERYTHING YOU'LL GET
When You Join the Perfect Poop Protocol Today:
💩 THE PERFECT POOP PROTOCOL BLUEPRINT
($97 value - but priceless for
your sanity)
✅ 7 days to go from "Poop? What's that?" to "I'm basically a bathroom athlete"
✅ Step-by-step instructions so simple, even your gut can understand them
🌱 THE "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE... RELIEF" MORNING RITUAL
($27 value)
✅ Start your day like a digestive champion
✅ No more morning 1bloat that makes you look like you're smuggling a watermelon
🍽️ THE "EAT WITHOUT FEAR" MENU PLAN
($97 value)
✅ Gut-loving breakfast, lunch & dinner options
✅ Designed for fast results — not forever restriction
✅ Works even if you “eat clean” and still feel bloated
🚽 THE EASY EXIT STRATEGY
($47 value)
✅ Unlock the ultimate poop posture with video guidance.
✅ Get timing hacks for instant relief when nature calls.
✅ YOUR DAILY DIGESTIVE GAME PLAN!
($17 value)
✅ Simple steps to keep your gut happy every day.
✅ Transform small wins into epic poop triumphs.
🚨 THE "SOS: SAVE OUR STOMACH" EMERGENCY KIT
($27 value)
✅ For when you need to go from zero to hero... fast
✅ Includes the legendary "Salt Water Flush" (it's like a spa day for your colon)
Total Real-World Value: $366+
Yours for just: $27
But Wait... There's More!
🎁(I Know, I Know, But Seriously...)🎁
Join Today and You'll Also Get These Gut-Saving
BONUSES
PERFECT POOP CLUB COMMUNITY
(Priceless)
Private Facebook group for support + motivation
Connect with others on the same gut-health journey
Stay accountable through the 7-Day Protocol and beyond
🥘 GUT-LOVING RECIPES BUNDLE
($47 Bonus Value)
Breakfasts, lunches, dinners + snacks
Built for the reset — no fluff, no guesswork
Simple, nourishing, and bloat-friendly
🎵 GUT VIBES AUDIO BUNDLE
($17 Bonus Value)
Digestive Dancefloor Playlist for poop walks
Sound Therapy Tracks to calm your gut
Spotify-ready — press play, and let your gut move
📊 7-DAY GUT TRACKER
($17 Bonus Value)
Track your poop progress and patterns like a pro.
Notice what’s working — and what’s not
Printable and easy to use
AND SO MUCH MORE!
Total Real-World Value: $393+
You Save: $366+
Normal Price: $97
TODAY'S SPECIAL PRICE:
$27
That’s less than your coffee habit… and about 200x more
effective than another fiber bar.
🎁 But Wait... There's More!
(I Know, I Know, But Seriously...)
Join Today and You'll Also Get These Gut-Saving
BONUSES
PERFECT POOP CLUB COMMUNITY
(Priceless)
Private Facebook group for support + motivation
Connect with others on the same gut-health journey
Stay accountable through the 7-Day Protocol and beyond
🥘 GUT-LOVING
RECIPES BUNDLE
($47 Bonus Value)
Breakfasts, lunches, dinners + snacks
Built for the reset — no fluff, no guesswork
Simple, nourishing, and bloat-friendly
🎵 GUT VIBES AUDIO BUNDLE
($17 Bonus Value)
Digestive Dancefloor Playlist for poop walks
Sound Therapy Tracks to calm your gut
Spotify-ready — press play, and let your gut move
📊 7-DAY GUT TRACKER
($17 Bonus Value)
Track your poop progress and patterns like a pro.
Notice what’s working — and what’s not
Printable and easy to use
AND SO MUCH MORE!
Total Real-World Value: $393+
You Save: $366
Normal Price: $97
You Pay: Only $27
That’s less than your coffee habit… and about 200x more effective than another fiber bar.
The “Feel Better or It’s Free” Guarantee
If your colon isn’t singing “Hallelujah” within 7 days, I don’t want your money.
Just email me at [email protected] and I’ll refund it—no questions, no forms, no “did you really try it?” interrogation. You have nothing to lose… except maybe that backup in your colon. 💩✨
The “Feel Better or It’s Free” Guarantee
If your colon isn’t singing “Hallelujah” within 7 days, I don’t want your money.
Just email me at [email protected] and I’ll refund it—no questions, no forms, no “did you really try it?” interrogation. You have nothing to lose… except maybe that backup in your colon. 💩✨
WARNING!
⏰ This Offer Has an Expiration Date⏰
(Unlike Your Constipation)
I might wake up tomorrow and decide to charge what this is actually worth ($500+). Or I might get tired of talking about poop all day (unlikely, but possible).
Get in while your gut is still trying to talk to you (before it starts screaming).
WARNING!
⏰ This Offer Has an Expiration Date⏰
(Unlike Your Constipation)
I might wake up tomorrow and decide to charge what this is actually worth ($500+). Or I might get tired of talking about poop all day (unlikely, but possible).
Get in while your gut is still trying to talk to you (before it starts screaming).
🚽 Ready to Join the Poop Hall of Fame?
You Have Two Choices:
❌ OPTION 1:
Keep living like your gut is your enemy
Continue the bloat-and-despair cycle
Keep Googling "normal poop frequency" at 2 AM
Maintain your toxic relationship with your digestive system
✅ OPTION 2:
Become the bathroom champion you were born to be
Wake up feeling like a human, not a balloon animal
Eat food without fear or regret
Finally understand what "regular" actually means
Click below to start your gut comeback.
🚽 Ready to Join the Poop Hall of Fame?
You Have Two Choices:
❌ OPTION 1:
Keep living like your gut is your enemy
Continue the bloat-and-despair cycle
Keep Googling "normal poop frequency" at 2 AM
Maintain your toxic relationship with your digestive system
✅ OPTION 2:
Become the bathroom champion you were born to be
Wake up feeling like a human, not a balloon animal
Eat food without fear or regret
Finally understand what "regular" actually means
Click below to start your
gut comeback.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Can men join the poop party too?
A: Absolutely. If you have a digestive system, this is for you. No gender restrictions here—everyone deserves to feel fabulous in the bathroom!
Q: Is this just another fiber scam?
A: Heck no! This is the anti-fiber approach. We're breaking up with fiber and dating common sense instead.
Q: Does this protocol include dairy or gluten? (Please say no!)
A: Nope! We're keeping it dairy-free and gluten-free because your gut has been through enough drama already.
Q: What if I'm too embarrassed to talk about poop?
A: By day 3, you'll be texting your friends poop updates. It's a beautiful transformation.
Q: What if I have IBS? Is this for me?
A: This protocol is designed to be gentle and gut-soothing. Many IBS warriors have reported relief. Just listen to your body and take it slow—no need to rush to the finish line!
Q: Is this going to be a complicated mess?
A: Nope! It’s as easy as pie (or should I say, as easy as a well-timed bathroom break?). We’ve got simple, clear steps, daily checklists, and food ideas that even your gut will love.
Q: What if I'm still backed up after 7 days?
A: Don’t worry! The protocol includes troubleshooting tools and bonus guides. You’ll know your next best step—no more guessing games in the bathroom!
Q: Do I need to do this perfectly?
A: Not at all! Perfection is overrated. Consistency is the name of the game. Just keep showing up for your gut, and it will thank you!
Q: Can I do this while traveling?
A: Yes! You can totally take this on the road. With a little extra planning and flexibility, you’ll be pooping like a champ no matter where you are. I’ll share tips to keep you on track while you’re globetrotting!
Q: Will this mess with my medications?
A: The protocol uses natural foods and gentle methods, so it’s usually safe. But if you’re on meds, it’s always best to check with your doctor first—better safe than sorry!
Q: Is the Perfect Poop Protocol vegetarian-friendly?
A: Not fully — it’s centered around animal-based foods for gut support. If you eat eggs or bone broth, you may still benefit.
🌟 Beyond Better Poops: Reclaiming Your Life
Fixing your digestion isn’t just about better poops.
It’s about freedom—freedom to travel, eat with friends,
and trust your body again.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Can men join the poop party too?
A: Absolutely. If you have a digestive system, this is for you. No gender restrictions here—everyone deserves to feel fabulous in the bathroom!
Q: Is this just another fiber scam?
A: Heck no! This is the anti-fiber approach. We're breaking up with fiber and dating common sense instead.
Q: Does this protocol include dairy or gluten? (Please say no!)
A: Nope! We're keeping it dairy-free and gluten-free because your gut has been through enough drama already.
Q: What if I'm too embarrassed to talk about poop?
A: By day 3, you'll be texting your friends poop updates. It's a beautiful transformation.
Q: What if I have IBS? Is this for me?
A: This protocol is designed to be gentle and gut-soothing. Many IBS warriors have reported relief. Just listen to your body and take it slow—no need to rush to the finish line!
Q: Is this going to be a complicated mess?
A: Nope! It’s as easy as pie (or should I say, as easy as a well-timed bathroom break?). We’ve got simple, clear steps, daily checklists, and food ideas that even your gut will love.
Q: What if I'm still backed up after 7 days?
A: Don’t worry! The protocol includes troubleshooting tools and bonus guides. You’ll know your next best step—no more guessing games in the bathroom!
Q: Do I need to do this perfectly?
A: Not at all! Perfection is overrated. Consistency is the name of the game. Just keep showing up for your gut, and it will thank you!
Q: Can I do this while traveling?
A: Yes! You can totally take this on the road. With a little extra planning and flexibility, you’ll be pooping like a champ no matter where you are. I’ll share tips to keep you on track while you’re globetrotting!
Q: Will this mess with my medications?
A: The protocol uses natural foods and gentle methods, so it’s usually safe. But if you’re on meds, it’s always best to check with your doctor first—better safe than sorry!
Q: Is the Perfect Poop Protocol vegetarian-friendly?
A: Not fully — it’s centered around animal-based foods for gut support. If you eat eggs or bone broth, you may still benefit.
🌟 Beyond Better Poops: Reclaiming Your Life
Fixing your digestion isn’t just
about better poops.
It’s about freedom—freedom to travel, eat with friends,
and trust your body again.
Still on the Porcelain Fence? 🚽
Make a decision before your legs go numb.
Look, your gut is tired of being ignored. Your jeans are tired of being stretched. Your toilet is tired of being lonely.
You’re not here because
you’ve failed.
You’re here because you care
and you’re fed up with the
digestive circus.
Something in you knows: it shouldn’t feel like a game of bathroom roulette every time you eat.
And you’re absolutely right.
You weren’t meant to live life clutching your stomach like it’s a ticking time bomb.
You were made to enjoy meals without the fear of a surprise bathroom sprint.
To feel light, free, and in control of your body — and to strut into the bathroom like it’s your personal throne.
And if no one’s told you yet:
You’re not too broken.
You’re not too late.
You are not the exception.
I created this protocol because I was you.
I know the struggle. The panic. The dread of wondering if that innocent burrito will turn into a bathroom emergency.
But when I discovered that my gut issues weren’t signs of defeat — they were invitations to kick digestive chaos to the curb — everything changed.
Because within the discomfort lies the key to transformation, and this protocol is your golden ticket to gut glory.
It shows you how to tackle those tough moments and come out on the other side feeling like a champion.
This is your invitation.
Not to be perfect.
But to start.
With one simple step.
With one delicious meal that doesn’t betray you.
With one brave yes to the gut health you deserve.
Because that confident, carefree you is already inside, just waiting to break free!
JOIN NOW FOR $27
🔒100% Secure 256-Bit Security Encryption
P.S. Your future self (and your jeans) will thank you.
Your toilet is already planning the welcome back party. 🎉
Still on the Porcelain Fence? 🚽
Make a decision before your legs go numb.
Look, your gut is tired of being ignored. Your jeans are tired of being stretched. Your toilet is tired of being lonely.
You’re not here because
you’ve failed.
You’re here because you care
and you’re fed up with the
digestive circus.
Something in you knows: it shouldn’t feel like a game of bathroom roulette every time you eat.
And you’re absolutely right.
You weren’t meant to live life clutching your stomach like it’s a ticking time bomb.
You were made to enjoy meals without the fear of a surprise bathroom sprint.
To feel light, free, and in control of your body — and to strut into the bathroom like it’s your personal throne.
And if no one’s told you yet:
You’re not too broken.
You’re not too late.
You are not the exception.
I created this protocol because I was you.
I know the struggle. The panic. The dread of wondering if that innocent burrito will turn into a bathroom emergency.
But when I discovered that my gut issues weren’t signs of defeat — they were invitations to kick digestive chaos to the curb — everything changed.
Because within the discomfort lies the key to transformation, and this protocol is your golden ticket to gut glory.
It shows you how to tackle those tough moments and come out on the other side feeling like a champion.
This is your invitation.
Not to be perfect.
But to start.
With one simple step.
With one delicious meal that doesn’t betray you.
With one brave yes to the gut health you deserve.
Because that confident, carefree you is already inside, just waiting to break free!
JOIN NOW FOR $27
🔒100% Secure 256-Bit Security Encryption
P.S. Your future self (and your jeans) will thank you. Your toilet is already planning the welcome back party. 🎉
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